Things That Make me Laugh [Part 1]

Ok, here are some quotes and phrases that I have collected in my red notebook that make me laugh. The initials are there so that the person is not embarrassed. I have also included a small explanation to each one, to explain how it came about. These are not in order of occurrence, because I have written them down in my mind or my notebook at random times and not necessarily when the quote occurred. I am also going to keep adding more, as and when the occur, and as and when I remember to post them, so keep checking this post!

1. "Get rid of the problem before it becomes a problem." [AL] (This was in an RE lesson. Al is quite mad!)
2. "It is wrong to kill. If you do, we'll kill you." [JCH] (This was in the same RE lesson, and although this is not funny, I think it is quite good. It is like "giving the death penalty to attempted suicides for a punishment").
3. "I am so clever, I should be the next Frankenstine." [LB]. (This was a popular misconception! (a slip up of the tongue)).
4. "Get out of my house". [RG] (This just makes me laugh!).
5. "Some people are proud of their onions." [JAW] (This was JW being herself really. Quite barmy!)
6. "Ben has a bra called Marcus." [ME!] (This was quite clever actually. I had posted on my other blog the sentence "Ben has a bro called Marcus". I then did the spell check. Throughout that post, I had typed "taht" for "that". I was just clicking on change all the way thorugh, as it was automatically changing the wrong word to the right word, and of course it picked up that bro was not defined. The spell checker, through me, then changed it to bra. LOl!)
7. "Frustum." [ASH] (This is a new word that I learnt in maths. It is a really cool word. Say it to yourself. It means the top half of a cone that has been cut away from the main cone.)
8. "You couldn't hang yourself with a piece of string if your life depended on it."[Me!] (It worked in my head. Ben was trying to strangle himself with a piece of string, and then he started to hang himslef. Those of you who know Ben would know that he wouldn't be able to hang himself with a piece of string, so this is why I said it).
9. "I played poosticks with Ben." [Me!] (Think about it!)
10. "Dads going to come home ranting and shaving." [JAW] (This was so funny. The correct saying is ranting and raving).
11. "I'm just going to the loobog." [JAW] (This was quite funny too. My mother (oops) is so funny sometimes!).
12. "Wouldn't it be funny if there was a budgie called Carrot?" [ALP] (She posted this in one of her comments).
13. "Wouldn't it be funny if there was a Parrot called Carrot?" [Me!] (My variation of A's comment).
14. "Wouldn't it be funny if there was a carrot called Carrot?" [Me!] (What I just typed for the above. Oh dear).

Smoking

Today, there are more than 1.1 billion smokers in the world, which is about 17% of the total world population. Over 6000 billion cigarettes are smoked each year. Why?

I cannot understand why people smoke. To me, it doesn’t achieve anything. I asked one of my friend’s friends why he smoked, and he said, “it gives me a good feeling.” Well, if he wants to get a good feeling out of killing himself, then that’s his problem.
I mean, there are plenty of other ways of getting a goods feeling in your life, and no, I wasn’t thinking of anything sexual. For me, when I’m listening to my music on my Walkman, (right now I’m listening to Lord of the Rings!) talking to my friends, (hello amber!) or smiling I get a good feeling. I am one of those people that have a really good outlook on life. When the sun is shining, and the sky is blue, then I smile. When I am running down a hill, with the wind blowing on my skin, I get a good feeling. Life is all good in my opinion, and I can’t see why people have to ruin it by smoking. Not only are they wasting their own life, but they are harming others peoples life as well. To me, this is a very selfish thing to do, because in my opinion, everyone has the right to live.
Do they know that they are damaging themselves and everyone else around them? I can understand peer pressure and everything, and that nicotine is addictive, and once you have one, you have to have another. But really, why? I mean, take a look at the facts a minute (taken straight from my GCSE RE text book, and “The Fag-Mag”, a free leaflet I was given by my doctor.):

• Smoking is highly dangerous.
• There are over 4000 harmful chemicals in tobacco smoke. These include aluminium, copper, lead, mercury and zinc, as well as ammonia, carbon monoxide, and nicotine. (Nicotine stimulates the body’s nervous system but can also cause blood vessels to become narrower, and the heart to beat faster and work harder. Nicotine takes 8 seconds to reach the brain, and is very addictive).
• Nicotine and carbon monoxide cause: heart attacks, strokes, coronary heart disease, angina, poor circulation, brain haemorrhages and heart failure.
  Smoking can also lead to: mouth cancers, impaired vision, infertility, throat cancer, lung cancer, gangrene, and a diseased heart.
• Smoking gives you bad breath, makes you smell and wastes your money.
• It is estimated that smoking causes 80% of lung cancer deaths, 80% of those who die from bronchitis and emphysema and 17% of all deaths from heart disease.
• Because of smoking, there are 31,000 deaths from lung cancer, and 13,000 deaths from cancers of the bladder, larynx, kidney and stomach each year!
• Every year, smoking costs the NSH more than £400,000,000. (Four hundred million pounds just to put that in context).
• More than 17,000 children aged less than 5 are admitted to hospital each year because of the affects of passive smoking. (Passive smoking is when you breathe in someone else’s smoke).
• This year, 3 million deaths will occur because of smoking.
• For every 6 smokers, 1 will die of heart disease or a stroke. For every 5 smokers, 1 will suffer from emphysema. For every 4 smokers, 1 will die of lung cancer. For every 2 smokers, 1 will die from a smoking related disease.
• Apparently, for every cigarette you smoke, you loose 5 minutes if your life.
• If you are a girl, smoke and take a contraceptive pill, you are 10 times more likely to have a heart attack or a stroke.
• A tree has to be cut down once a fortnight to cure tobacco for one average smoker. In the UK, that’s about 390 million trees each year.

Around 120,000 people die each year in the UK because of tobacco. That’s about 330 a day. This is the equivalent of a jumbo jet crashing each day, and everyone on board dying.

If a jumbo jet did crash everyday, there would be a public outcry, the planes would get investigated, and would probably get taken down an put in a shed to rust happily into oblivion. So why doesn’t this happen with fags? Because the government gets taxed, that’s why. It is estimated that £7.4billion of tax was paid on cigarettes to the government in the UK during 2001 – 2002. This is about 2% of the government’s total revenue.
Not only does smoking give the government money that it shouldn’t get, it makes the cigarette makers rich, (in the last financial year, on major tobacco company made £463 million pounds of profit), it also wastes your money. 10 cigarettes a day is approximately worth 3 tickets to the cinema every week, new trainers or computer game every month, a new TV or sound system every 6 months, or a skiing holiday or a mountain bike every year. So why waste you money on smoking? What does it achieve, apart from half killing you, wasting your money, polluting the air around you and helping to effectively murder others around you?

If you are a smoker, then please
a) Consider the above facts, read then through and think about you, your health, and the health of others and what you are helping to do.
b) Post and tell me why you smoke, what is so good about it and whether you would like to try and quit.

If you are not a smoker, then please post your comments to me on this topic, as I would like to know your thoughts and opinions on this matter.

Bogstick / Bog Stick / Bog stick

Which is it? Coment below . . . . . .

Play this game!

http://www.miniclip.com/motherload.htm

Do it now!!!!!!!!

It socks my rocks off!

(I haven't got it wrong, I have changed A's saying to relate it to the game!)

Play it to find out!

Running down hills!

I went for a walk on Sunday with A. We walked all over the place, but mainly from Stroud to Selsley. We had to take a detour because there were some cows in the way of the stile, which was fun. We went through about 3 different fields just to get back onto the path again. The cows were all sitting down, and were sitting in a little group around the stile. This probably sound silly, but we didn't want to risk us.
It was quite funny actually, because although the sun wasn't out - it was one of those not cloudy not bright days - we still managed to laugh and enjoy ourselves. Walking is so great because we just walk, and if see a path and we don't know where it goes, we just explore it, We can also talk. It's great. Oh, and another thing to do while on a walk is to find a hill, and run down it, right to the bottom. It's so fun. Do it. Now. (But finish reading this blog first). Ok. Your done. Now run down a hill!

Bogsticks

One of A's more funnier sayings is "bless you with a bog stick."
Apparently her friend went to say bless you with a big stick (a saying from A's other friend Dude) which A uses regularly, but actually said bless you with a bog stick. This is so random it makes me laugh. (A would say it makes me giggle).
If anyone know what a bog stick is, or has a definition of a bogstick that they are willing to lend me, please leave me a comment and tell me, as I would love to know your thoughts on what a bogstick is, and what you think of a) the object and b) the saying.
Don't forget:

"Bless you with a bog stick."

----------------------------------------

What makes this even more funny for me (and A) is that this saying can be particularly linked to me and A, because of what happened on one of our walks. [I am considering putting this on another post, but as it ties in with the above, I'll keep writing it here. You can always imagine it as a new post anyway. (That is what the dotted lines are for; they separate one idea from the next - "the start of a new post")].
We were on one of our walks, going somewhere or other and we had walked up a steep hill and were looking for somewhere to eat lunch. In a field, there were a clump of trees, which looked like a good place to eat lunch, so we went down to them. This involved walking down a very steep hill. When we got to the bottom, we thought it looked like a nice place, to sit and eat lunch, but it was actually a bog. To cut a long story short, instead of going back round the bog, I decided we should go through it. I did this, by jumping to bits of grass that looked solid enough for me to stand on, and I got across. A went to go, but fell down into the bog. The mud went right up to her knee, and her shoe was covered in it.
So when I say "bless you with a bog stick", she replies "don't talk to me about bogs". lol!

Changes

I have just updated this blog's settings so that the title of my blog is now

"Blue Fire :::: The Story of My Life"

Pretty cool I think. And so many connotations as well.

I have also changed the font of my blog, which is a much better font and looks much better.

Go Tahoma!

A post a day keeps the doctor away (yeah right)

As this is my new blog, I suppose I had better try and post on it.
I have had a thought where I would like to make at least one post a week on my new blog. This may be just be one single one thing that happened to me, a funny moment, a thought or a dream, or alternatively (and this is much more likely,) I will compose a great big post that will be a snapshot of my life through the last week in general. I will not be able to include everything that has happened in my life like other people can, mainly for the reason that I a) do not have broadband at home (yet) and b) I am not online 24/7.
I have seen some blogs where they are posted on every single day, and the person records a step-by-step guide to everything that went on in their life that day, but I physically can’t do that, so this will have to do. I have so many thoughts, dreams, feelings, ideas, experiences and opinions it seems impossible to share everything with the Internet, and indeed I do not plan to. But at least I have posted something this week.

I love my mobile!

Oh my god, I love my phone. I have just used the hands free kit for the first time, which I found in the bottom of the box. It's great. It plugs into the top of my phone, (getting in the way of the camera!) and then I clip the cable onto my t-shirt and put the one, singular speaker into my ear. The microphone that it is built into the cable is in exactly the right place when it hangs off my shirt. I did a voice record and it is so much better because the mic is right underneath my mouth and so not only is the sound quality so much louder but it is also much better. This is a problem because the mic in my phone is pretty rubbish unless you are talking into it. But it has a camera, can do video, which I used at greenbelt, can do voice records, has access to the net (which cost a bomb) where I can download games, ringtones and anything else! It also has Bluetooth, which I used at the pub with flick, although it didn't work to well. I had hoped my phone was going to be blue and silver but it is black and silver, but never mind. It was £110 which everyone says is a lot, but I love my phone and I think everyone else does as well. Definitely a good bargain.

2nd extract from my diary

I have just finished reading The Supernaturalist, by Eoin Colfer for the fourth time. I couldn't remember how good it is, although it did seem to be over quite a bit. I had a good conversation with dad last night, and I related my thoughts to Artemis Fowl quite a lot. It is a good read, and he is a genius. I suppose this is leading to the fact that I want to get broadband and trawl the Internet and turn into a genius by downloading pages and pages of information. This is a good dream to dwell on, as I could find out lots of information, very quickly. Whether it is reliable and correct is another matter. Dad said that it won't be. Oh well. But, getting broadband is expensive. I am not even sure if they do it in this area. I want it for a number of reasons, but at the moment, when I am speaking deep down from my heart, and being sensible, I know that dad can't pay for it at the moment, and I don't really want to either. I have considered getting a new job at the Albert, but as it has just suffered a fire, I can't.
Paper rounds are starting to get boring, and I can easily see why woody has given his up. A couple of days ago, mum did my whole round for me, because her papers hadn't come yet. It was luxury, the feeling was brilliant, because I don't need to get up and go out. Instead I just stayed in the house where I was, and relaxed. But I do need the money. I can't wait for the time when it is paid into my bank. It used to be, but then Shavda took over and it all changed. When it gets paid into the bank, it will be much easier.

Diary Extracts

This is an extract from my diary, which is saved on my home computer. I thought that as this is my new diary (!) I should publish it here! I think that it is from ages ago, but still, it offers an insight into my life, which is another reason why I am posting!

I have just finished reading the Artemis Fowl books again. I haven't got the 4th book so far, although I have read the first couple of chapters, which I did in Otakars in Cheltenham, while we were waiting for the bus. It seems to be quite good, so I will probably get it soon. I am just waiting for it to come out in soft back, and in a cover design that suits the previous series, as it sticks out "like a prick at a wedding" (quote from Allen). On the subject of books, I have read the 6th hp book, and find it to be disappointing to say the least. Unsatisfactory is also a word I have used to describe it to numerous people. I hope the last book is going to be better, although it probably won't be. I think that the 4th and 5th books are the best, although I haven't read the order for a long time now.
I have also been buying a lot of new music for my life. I have now got the Scissor Sisters album - which I thought was awful when I first listened to it, but now I have listened to it a lot more I think that it is great, and there are some great tracks on it. Filthy/Gorgeous and Laura spring to mind. I have also got The Rasmus Dead Letters album, which seems quite good, although it is quite short compared to others, such as Green Day's American Idiot, which is brill.
I have also got Shania Twain's Greatest Hits album, which is brilliant, because it combines Come On Over, Up, and the Woman in Me, which I haven't got. I love it. Linkin Park has also found its way into my new collection, and apart from the screaming I quite like it. I got it in HMV and it was in the metal section. How appropriate!
Apart from Su Doku in the Western daily press, I have not been doing much over the holidays so far. Yes, coursework is there regrettably, and is being done slowly, but Su Doku seemed to be an addiction about 3 or 4 days ago. Mum is still continuing to buy me the paper everyday, 1) so I can get the next Su Doku, and 2) so I can get the answers to yesterday's puzzles - It is not just Su Doku they put on the puzzle page!
I have just brought the new Argos catalogue home. Well, actually, I brought 2 home, just in case. The new big one. Very heavy, but probably worth it. I have already browsed through it, and it seems to be quite useful. I will probably waste about £50 through it, buying useless junk or such.
On the subject of useless junk, mums complaining has finally got dad focused on the rubbish in this house, and he is considering throwing out an old tape player. Shock horror! I bet he won't though. I suggested the old idea of having a big household clean and throwing out some crap, but mum and dad didn't exactly jump at the chance to do it. Oh well. I can just look forward to the day when I get my own house and I can let into what I want and I will know exactly what is in my house and where it is. Everything will be organised and have it's own place. I have found this, as boy as I am, I do like things to be in a reasonably state, although I only tidy things up when I can be bothered or when there is nothing else to do.

An explanation or two.

Having posted this announcement:

"I have two blogs to do two different things. This blog, www.lwgw.blogpsot.com, will be used to tell my life story. It will also act as my diary, and you, the lucky readers will be able to find out what goes on in my life.
My other blog, www.lukewarner.blogspot.com will be used for posting news about my website www.lukewarner.tk. So, anything that I plan to do, updates, site news, changes, tweaks and stuff about www.lukewarner.tk will be posted on this blog. The link from my website that says "Site News" will link to www.lukewarner.blogspot.com as this is where all my site news is.
The website address for this blog is www.lwgw.blogspot.com but the title of it, (i.e. the text at the top of the page, and probably the title bar in your browser) will read "Blue Fire" (or "blue fire" depending on what I want to call my blog). Now, I did try to get www.bluefire.blogspot.com but some prat had already got it, so I couldn't. I tried multiple different addresses, but these were all taken as well, so I had to settle for something else, which I chose to be www.lwgw.blogspot.com. If you think about it, it does make sense. www.lwgw.blogspot.com is my blog, my life story and my diary. (In case you didn't know, lwgw are my initials). www.lukewarner.blogpsot.com will now be the blog for site news about www.lukewarner.tk. The names are the same for both my website and the site news blog, so it figures.

Ok, here is a quick reminder in case you are a bit confuddled by the above muddle.

This blog, www.lukewarner.blogpsot.com will now only be used to post site news about www.lukewarner.tk my website.
www.lwgw.blogpsot.com will be used as my online diary, where I will post my feelings, thoughts, experiences, opinions and everything else that goes on in my life. (It becomes my blog!) I am not saying I will post everyday, because I know that I won't for many reasons (not just because I might forget but because I actually physically can't), but I will try to post regularly.

Ok, that's about it. Oh, hang on, just one last thing about comments. If you are reading this, please leave some comments on my blog (do this by clicking on comments at the bottom of this post) and talk to me so that I know that people are reading this. Comment on what I have said, who you are, what you think e.t.c I can then comment back to you e.t.c. Thank you."

on www.lukewarner.blogspot.com, I thought I might just post it here, so everything makes sense to everybody. OK, so now we are all clear, I can start posting about my amazing life, and everything, which I am sure you want to hear about. **Editors note: There is absolutely no sarcasm in the last sentence. And there is no sarcasm in this sentence either. **

The First Post

Welcome to my new blog. As you can see by my profile, I already have one blog. If you can't see it, visit it here. Please do leave comments to tell me that you have been here, or that you are enjoying reading my blog (if you are reading it) e.t.c e.t.c. I will try to comment back, either by posting or by commenting. Thank you.

Testing Testing

This is a test post.

Edit:

Ok so now that I know that my posts are displayed (always good to check you see) I can now officially welcome you to my new blog: Blue Fire. Yes, I know that this blog addy is www.lwgw.blogspot.com but bluefire was taken so I got the addy then changed the blog name. Quite clever eh? Anyway, welcome to my new blog!