Email response to pictures of graffiti/art around Stroud being removed by the group moderator on Flickr.

I just sent this email to the moderator of :this group on Flickr:, (a group in which to post all pictures of Stroud), after he sent me this message:

Dear Luke,

Whilst I am not offended by the graf shots, there have been comments posted about you flooding the group with graf pics. You have just done it again - either you have not read the thread or you don't care. If you want to post pics to the stroud group please be a bit more discriminating - similar shots of the same graf are boring at best and you have already offended some people in the group. You are welcome to continue posting but please bear in mind the other people in the group. I have deleted from the group some of your pics to keep the peace, please don't take offence.

Best wishes,

David.


David,

Firstly, well done on realising my real name lol; some of my friends have had to ask me what 'lkwrnr' means as they haven't realised that it is actually my name!!

I am sorry if I have caused offence in the Stroud group; please accept my apologies on this somewhat sensitive topic, as I seem to have 'offended some people in the group'.

Please bear in mind that I am not a grafittiist, I merely take pictures of other people's work, and then upload them to Flickr. As all of the pictures have been taken in Stroud, I thought it would be OK to post all of them to the Stroud group. I have read the thread and I do care; as far as I can see, your 'About Stroud' section reads as follows:

'Express your Stroudness here, through pictures and comments.
You know this place is beautiful, quirky, and different from all other places. Lets show those shots.'

I believe that my photos of Stroud Graffiti portray this, as I view the pictures I have taken, and the subjects within them as 'art' in a loose sense, as opposed to the graffiti tags that are hideously scrawled over every wall. I recognise that several shots of the same piece of graffiti/art may be repetitive and boring, but I wish to defend my actions in terms of expressing some aspects of what I think represent Stroud.

I would also like to raise the point that I am confused as to how people can be offended over the pictures I have posted - are they offended over the content of the pictures, thinking that these hideous acts of vandalism that ruin their stereotypical view of their lovely town? Or are they offended that I have posted several shots of the same thing? The latter I can understand, and all I can say in my defence is that it is so much easier to drag all the pictures in one set and send them all to a group, rather than diligently picking some. If the people in your group hold the former view; then I believe they are contradicting the other thing I read on your group profile:

‘This group welcomes members who are happy living in a tolerant, liberal, multicultural society’.

I recognise that some people may not like seeing graffiti, even that some people may think all acts of graffiti are vandalism and hence that they are ugly, unwanted acts of intolerance with no reason behind them, but I am opposed to this view, and the view that the pictures I have posted are 'hideous acts of vandalism' as I wrote above.

Just to clarify: I think most of the pictures I posted to this group are works of art, by talented individuals; I certainly could never do something as impressive as the artist 'infinite' has. I believe that although they have vandalised someone’s property, the art they have produced is much more worthy and has much more reason to be on the buildings and on Flickr than an ugly scrawl of 'Disco' or 'Dub' with no artistic content or talent behind it. This is why I posted all of the pictures I have recently taken to the Stroud group.

In response to me 'flooding the group with graf[fiti] pics', I merely hold in my defence the ease of posting all pictures in a set to a particular group e.g. all pictures in my 'Stroud Graffiti' set to the 'Stroud' group . . .

I hope this email clarifies my viewpoint, whilst also defending my position and actions.

Lastly, may I say that I have not taken offence on you removing some of my pictures from the Stroud group for two reasons, one because you are the administrator and have that privilege to do so, which you have used responsively to keep the peace amongst the group members, but also (secondly) because you took the time to send me this email, for which I thank you.

I have taken the liberty of posting this email to the thread on the group forum in which one member has expressed their unrest about my photos, in the hope that this will explain my viewpoint, clear up any misunderstanding, and defend my actions, whilst apologising for any unnecessary stress this has caused.

Oh, in response to yercombe’s comment:
‘While neither for or against it.
What does it have to do with Stroud. There must be a more appropriate group to post this’
These photos are posted in the Stroud group because they are, in fact, taken in Stroud, as I suspect most, if not al, of the photos are. There are more appropriate groups for my Flickr photos to be in; if you care to look at my profile you will see that I have also sent the Stroud graffiti pictures to groups such as ‘Streetart’.

And in response to your comment Dave:

‘I put it down to the impetuousity [I assume you mean impetuosity] of youth.’ I hope that you and your group members are not judging me on the fact that because I am 17 and have taken pictures of graffiti around my town, I must be a graffitist/vandalist/hooligan/yob. I am not. I merely take pictures of things I like, respect, and am attracted to in a photographical sense, and upload them to Flickr. I then send them to groups that reflect the subject or the location of the photographs I have taken.

Best wishes also,
lkwrnr.

A Scathing Review of a Scathing Article

I have just read :this article: and immediatly clicked the feedback link at the bottom of the page and sent them this scathing review:

'I think this is a very biased article, although I recognise it is someone's personal opinion.
It seems to me that the only people who are complaining about the reunion of the Spice Girls is the UK MSN Entertainment team, which does not surprise me. Firstly, you write many articles about how the comeback will and has failed, and then use this story you have created to write idiotic things like 'where did it all go wrong'.

Please bear in mind I am commenting on the content in this page, and not the design.

I find this statement the worst: 'the Spice Girls never could sing, dance, or do anything much other than shout slogans and pout, which is a hell of a lot less charming when you're over 30'.

This is complete tosh.

I am now not going to bother reading the UK MSN entertainment articles advertised so blatantly on Windows Live Today when I sign into Messenger'.


I think that told them?!

understanding

i just want to sit, and read, and play on flickr, and watch comedy dvds, and listen to music, and go to sleep, and eat sweets, and not do naything else

i dont want to go to school and hand in essays that are half finsihed and find more work to do

and then not do it

i dont want homework, and schoolwork

"i want to go back to beliveing in everything, and knowing nothing at all"

but i want to go to uni and get away from it all
and be free

can't wash it all away
cant cry it all away

understanding:

"You hold the answers deep within your own mind.
Consciously, you've forgotten it.
That's the way the human mind works.
Whenever something is too unpleasant, to shameful for us
to entertain, we reject it.
We erase it from our memories.
But the imprint is always there."

(Can't wash it all away)
(Can't Wish it all away)
(Can't hope it all away)
(Can't cry it all away)

The pain that grips you
The fear that binds you
Releases life in me
In our mutual
Shame we idolize
To blind them from the truth
That finds a way from who we are
Please don't be afraid
When the darkness fades away
The dawn will break the silence
Screaming in our hearts
My love for you still grows
This I do for you
Before I try to fight the truth my final time

"We're supposed to try and be real.
And I feel alone, and we're not together. And that is real."

Can't wash it all away
Can't wish it all away
Can't cry it all away
Can't scratch it all away

Lying beside you
Listening to you breathe
The life that flows inside of you
Burns inside of me
Hold and speak to me
Of love without a sound
Tell me you will live through this
And I will die for you
Cast me not away
Say you'll be with me
For I know I cannot
Bear it all alone

"You're not alone, honey."
"Never... Never."

Can't fight it all away
Can't hope it all away
Can't scream it all away
It just won't fade away, No,no, no ,no.

Can't wash it all away
Can't wish it all away
Can't cry it all away
Can't scratch it all away

(Can't fight it all away)
(Can't hope it all away)
Can't scream it all away
Ooh, it all away
Ooh, it all away
(It all away)
"But the imprint is always there. Nothing is ever really forgotten."

Please God, dont hate me


"Because I'll die if you do"
"Because I'll die if you do"
"Because I'll die if you do"
"Because I'll die if you do"
"Because I'll die if you do"

A recent conversation with a friend

Following a very interesting philoposhy lesson at college, the person I was discussing things with posted on my facebook profile wall:

'after we realised god doesn't use burning bushes anymore to lower his carbon footprint, i have discovered that he has stopped feeding the 5,000 with fish and bread as cod is a protected species and wheat is remarkably bad for you...he is now using a low carb, low GI oat based bread substitute.'

I am still loling.

I replied:

'love it lol
together we are comic geniuses!!!
oh, and don't forget poor, dear, God's eyebrow.'

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Now playing: Madonna - Hung Up
via FoxyTunes

Pure Profile

Pure Profile is a site like cashcrate.com - you fill in your details, compnaies send you surveys to fill in and you get paid to fill them in - between £0.20 and £4.00 per survey.

My link is:

http://account.pureprofile.com/Login/?referrer=3055817

if you want to do this and join, then clcik this link, and use my referal. This means that i and you will both make money

Marriage Quotes

Discovery

STA71342
Originally uploaded by lkwrnr

Self Discovery?
Exploration?


A photo speeks a thousand words.

Samsung d900i Phone Review

Wahey! I got my new phone - a shiny new, Samsung d900i sleek gorgeous looking slider phone.



Yes, it has actually got a whole host of lovely features, such as Bluetooth, 3 MP camera with auto focus, the good looks of a new slider phone (I think it is gorgeous), interesting features such as a background that changes at night time - a picture of Big Ben and one side of the Houses of Parliament that lights up at night time and shows fireworks, and birds flying across a changing sky in the daytime, a speaker phone, WAP access and animated textual messages, that when delivered type themselves on the screen and replaces some words with little animations, like 'house' and 'phone' for example. It also has a music player, an FM radio and has expandable memory in the form of a Micro SD card - I've got a 1GB card, but I think it can take at least a 2GB card. In the box, I got a shiny new phone, new sim card, new top up swipe card, charger, headphones (which are very nice in terms of looks and comfort and sound), and a small user guide, as well as plenty of plastic bags and plastic ties.

At first, I loved it. However, as I began to use it, I started to compare it to my old phone, a Motorola v545.



Let me just point out at this moment that my v545 was the first mobile I bought, and I have had no problems with it what-so-ever. Except that on the first day of buying it, I dropped it into a glass of drink that was sat on the table. Was NOT impressed. Luckily, it did no damage, but towards the end of its usage period (about a year, two years? after I bought it) I was having to put every call (outgoing and incoming) on speaker phone just so that I could here the caller, because I think the internal amplifier blew. I also had to buy several new aerials, as they kept falling out, and so I had little signal for small periods.
Ok, so no problems with the phone, much.

I believed when I bought the v545 that it was a really good phone, with enough features (at the time) to keep me entertained, and I was happy at the price - at £110 I think I got what I paid for, it was well worth it and I got what I wanted at the time. Oh, there were several problems with it: one, the bluetooth didn't allow me to surf other people's handsets very well, if at all, I could only receive files they sent me, or send files my self, and although this is probably the main function of bluetooth (it was designed to send sound wirelessly), I was not impressed as a secondary school student at break. Two, the camera really was bad, (it sufficed as a basic camera, but the picture quality/size e.t.c was poor. Thirdly, it had a distinct lack of memory, so to store all the pictures I wanted to take and had taken, I had to reduce the file size; fine but this also reduced image quality and pixels. Couple the large amount of photos with the games I downloaded and completed within two weeks of getting them, and all my textual messages, videos (entertaining ones form friends, such as Angry Kid), and downloaded ringtones - Mine was dare by Gorillaz, and I had virtually no memory for virtually all of the time. But, apart from these complaints, it is still in my opinion, a really good phone that was way ahead of the competition when it was released, and probably still is in some ways. The keys for instance, are set apart, are big enough to touch properly, but still look stylish.
The only really problem is that the large on aerial on the outside of the phone is sometime annoying when you want top get your phone out of your pocket, because it is playing Gorrilaz - dare at you.

The problems I have with my new phone basically stem from features not being present on the Samsung (called Samuel), which were present on my old phone, which is annoying. For instance, I can only change the ringtones and message tones, I can't change the alarm tone and the answerphone message tone at all, as this option simply does not exist. The alarm tone will suffice, but there are limited options just like the massage tone. This is annoying, as my old phone used to go 'ding dong' like a dorrbell when I received a textual message, but now it goes something like 'whir whir weeeup' which is different, but coll in its own way. I can also not change the name of my alarms, and I inly get three: a wake up one and two general ones, whereas on my old phone I had about 6 different ones. However, in all fairness, Samuel does make it easier to set the time for the alarm; I can just type it in now, instead having ot move up and down through all the minutes.
Another annoying thing is that my new phone can access the mobile internet at the touch of a button, and this costs me credit. My old phone could do this too, but no matter. It is more prevalent on my new phone as the button that accesses the net is in the centre of the control pad which I use to get to all my options.
A handy little feature on my new phone i 'My Menu' which allows me to short cut to certain features - I have create new sms text message, calculator, fm radio, and alarms, on mine. Oh, talking about messages:::

Main aggro at new phone comes from new textual messages I am composing:
1) Predictive text is weird, and doesn't work properly.
2) I have to manually select the option to 'save and send' if I want the message to go to my sent folder, rather than it doing it automatically.

In all fairness, these aren't terribly bad things, an I have got used to doing things slightly differently - typing a textual message by pressing lots of keys and selecting the option to save and send for instance.

Overall, I love my new phone. I love it's thickness, it's looks, it's camera, and its memory. I give it an 8/10, but my old phone gets a 7/10. It may have different features, or a lack of them, but it is still worth of this score due to being super duper straight from when it came out of the box.


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Now playing: Frankie Valli - Grease
via FoxyTunes
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Now playing: Dido - White Flag
via FoxyTunes

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Now playing: David Guetta Vs The Egg - Walking Away Vs Love Dont Let Me Go
via FoxyTunes

Creating a Filter in Hotmail

I find filters infinitely useful.

To create filters in Hotmail just do the following:



Click Options, Top Right

Scroll to ' Customize Your Mail' and click on 'Automatically sort email into folders'

Click on 'New Filter'

Set 'Subject' to Cashcrate

and move to 'New Folder'

Enter name for new folder, e.g. 'Cashcrate'

Hit Ok



Da dah!



I have lots of these set up - ones for facebook and bebo are very useful if you use them a lot - and you don't even need to open the email, just read the subject and it tells you what has changed. Even better, you can just delete the message when you have read the subject, or just not as you have plenty of storage space on Hotmail. Simple!!!

i'M - Windows Live Messenger

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Now playing: Mika - Over My Shoulder [Hidden Track]
via FoxyTunes

Draculuke!!!!

Draculuke avec white background
Originally uploaded by lkwrnr

Exclusive picture of my halloween costume for Bag Rash . . check out my Flickr for more photos . . . you can get the addres by subscribing to my feed at the top of the page

Commentage

A recent commentage on Morgan's facebook, by me:

oh my good gracious so you did dear love it :P can you see i have now been converted form bebo and will now reside on facebok, hence the large amount of stuff on my profile . . . love it :P do you know whilst i were waiting for scotty to come pick me up for driving lesson, i entered in a terribly large amount of information about my books, cds and dvds (which i haven't finished yet)? it took ages lol!!! i have a tastefully large amount of stuff on my page because i was rejoicing in the brilliance of it compare to bebo, and how much i can actually add. :D
omg i had a driving lesson, it went quite well except for *certain parts*, such as taking a 90 degree corner to the left at over 40 mph (WOOPS :__ ), and making my worst night mare coming true and stalling on a roundabout in the middle of Stroud at rush hour. It was a bledy stupid little shitty roundabout as well, just by Stroud . .. and ive run out of characters now

A Thought on a Dumbledore Article

I just read this article:
http://www.courant.com/news/opinion/commentary/hc-commentarygay1028.artoct28,0,6887411.story
with interest, and posted this commment in reply:

I read you article with interest. I have read all of the HP books, and loved them all; I might be what you might call ' fan'.

OK, so that was understatement of the year.

The reason why I disagree with your article however, is that homosexuality and the 'issues' surrounding it are not a key feature within the HP books, plot or characters.

JK Rowling was not trying to write a book that highlighted homosexuality to a wider audience. I believe that if she were trying to do as such, she would have outed Dumbledore in the books. However, and you said it yourself - "I always thought of Dumbledore as gay," Rowling replied.
I imagine her saying this quietly to the audience, as this is her own opinion, and how she imagined, in her own head, her character.
This is why I am defending JK's public revelation - she was simply answering someone's question.

However, I suppose I do take offence at her later statements: "If I'd known this would make you this happy," a beaming Rowling said, "I would have announced it years ago."
This makes me think that she would have only outed Dumbledore as Gay to get more publicity and so make more money overall, which are not ideas I hold to JK. I think your phrase "It's just an easy applause line" supports this.
JK Rowling, in my opinion, is very very good at writing everything she needs to create her story, and weave it to the reader, demonstrated throughout the HP series.
". . .if Dumbledore had wanted the world to know he was gay, he would have come out in the text." Exactly - He (through the mind of JK) obviously didn't. I do not think that this makes any difference to the plot, although we can read into several phrases or sections in a different light, but it aids to character development.

So, I think JK was right to "reveal" this, as I do not see it as a major or even minor issue in the story. It makes no difference to me if Dumbledore is gay - deep down I suppose that there was always that subconscious thought anyway.

"What I find objectionable is Rowling's decision to deliver this bombshell not within the pages of her books, where it belongs, but by casually announcing it in a public gathering." I do not share this opinion, as this "bombshell" was not delivered for the wrong reasons in my opinion. JK was not trying to write a book about a gay character, hence there is no real reason for it to be delivered in the pages of her books.

Also, I just want to say that from a perspective author's point of view, I like your "Characters tell their creators who they are and what they're going to do, not the other way round. . .with characters doing and saying things that may be contrary to the author's intentions" I think that this is a wonderful thing to say, and I fully agree with it! This is exactly the kind of thinking I adhere to when writing or planning anything I write.

Well done, a thought raising article.

Condoms!!!!

HAHA Imagine if ALL....major retailers started making their own brand of condoms and kept the same tag line........


. Nokia Condoms - Connecting people
. Timex Condoms - Takes a licking and keeps on ticking
. Volkswagon Condoms - Think small
. Winders Condoms - Screaming 4 more
. PC World's Condoms - We're with u every step of the way
. Halifax Condoms - Who gives you extra? who? who? we do!
. Charmin Condoms - Break the habbit
. Telletubbie Condoms - Again again!!!
. Cadburys Condoms - Give in2 your happiness
. Red Bull Condoms - Gives u wings
. Cadbury's Creme Egg Condoms - How do u eat yours?
. Mr Kipling Condoms - Makes exceedingly good condoms
. Nike Condoms - Just do it!!
. Abbey National condoms - Because life is complicated enough!
. Coca Cola condoms - The real thing
. Halifords Condoms - We go the extra mile
. Andrex Condoms - Soft strong and very long
. Ever Ready condoms - Keep going and going
. Frosties - They're grrreat!!
· Sainsbury Condoms – Making Life Taste Better
· Renault Condoms – Size Really Does Matter!
· Tesco Condoms – Every Little Helps
· Burger King Condoms – Home Of The Whopper
· Muller Light Condoms – So Much Pleasure, But Where’s The Pain
· Peugeot Condoms – The Ride Of Your Life
· Royal Mail Condoms – I Saw This And Thought Of You
· Pringles Condoms – Once You Pop, You Can’t Stop
· Andrew Condoms – Soft, Strong And Very, Very Long
· Ever Ready Condoms – Keep Going And Going
· Galaxy Condoms – Why Have Rubber When You Can Have Silk
· KFC Condoms – Finger Licking Good
· Minstrels Condoms – Melt In Your Mouth, Not In Your Hands
· Safeway Condoms – Lightening The Load
· Ronseal Condoms – Does Exactly What It Says On The Tin
· Carlsberg Condoms – Probably The Best Condom In The World
· AA Condoms – For The 4th Emergency Service
· Pepperami Condoms – It’s A Bit Of An Animal
· Heinz Salad Cream Condoms - It's all going on!
· Sure Crystal Condoms - Unbeatable against white marks
· UCI Cinema Condoms - Coming Soon
· Lynx Condoms - Because you never know when to!
· Treseme Condoms - Only for professionals
· Insette Condoms - For that extra hold
· Gillete Condoms - The best a man can get
· Churchill Car Insurance Condoms - Ooooo yeshhh!
· Kit Kat Condoms - Take a break
· Polo Condoms – The Condom With The Hole!!!


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Now playing: The Beatles - The Beatles - John Lennon - Imagine
via FoxyTunes

Bag Rash Photos Uploaded

I have uploaded the photos of the Halloween themed Bag Rash (Rag Bash) to flickr:::::

http://www.flickr.com/photos/7133807...

This includes pictures of my costume . . . lol . . .

Draculuke!!!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/7133807...
http://www.flickr.com/photos/7133807...
http://www.flickr.com/photos/7133807...
http://www.flickr.com/photos/7133807...
http://www.flickr.com/photos/7133807...

This is where I upload all my photos to for general viewing online. I have actually taken quite a lot of photos of various things - they are all here so take a look at some of my other photos as well - the 'my favourites' set is a good place to start for a summary of some of my work!! Otherwise, have a look around all the sets and collections - Flickr is quite an easy website to navigate around.

For anyone who doesn't know what Flickr is about, Flickr is a website like photobucket.com, it allows you to upload photos to store and view.



Oh, and, as you can see, my profile picture on bebo has changed . . . It is this picture:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/7133807...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/7133807...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/7133807...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/7133807...


This picture includes detailed analysis of all my costume - telling you exactly what I wore and how I assembled my costume!!!
Follow the instructions at the bottom of the picture!!

Toodels
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Now playing: Britney Spears - Gimme More
http://foxytunes.com/artist/britney+...


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Now playing: Delta Goodrem - I Don't Care
via FoxyTunes

Words of Wisdom

I have just found these on a tiny piece of paper after *tidying* up my room.

Love them.



Special people ignore your broken gate and admire the flowers in your garden.

It is the little blessings that let us see just how lovely life can be.

Each day is a gift. That's why we call it the present.

Happiness enters our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open.

Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worth while.
(Hmm, pun detected . . . hehehe)

Kindness is the ability to love someone more than they deserve.



I have also gathered more MSN names and random things, which I am going to post now:

Can.Only.Make.Me.Stronger [[Haters!]]

work it, make it, do it, makes us, harder, better, faster, stronger
work it harder make it better do it faster makes us stronger

Being Perfect may be ok for barbie, but just remember.. she ended up with a guy who has plastic balls =] hahahahahahha / BagRash!

If.You've.Got.Soul.Let.The.World.Know. - |"Blatantly Potatoes"| ~[[Tangents&Tornadoes™]]~ - "Love It P"



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Now playing: Eminem - Without Me
via FoxyTunes

Vintage Cup Close Up - Flickr

Vintage Cup Close Up
Originally uploaded by mooosh

Not sure if I like this. But I am blogging it because I ahve just set up the connection between Flickr and my Blog, as they are both run by Google. Love it :]

I love Flickr. I have just uploaded loads of new photos, so head over to my profile if you wanna see some of my photographs: http://flickr.com/photos/7133807@N07/

Love it ;]

have fun




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Now playing: The Beatles - The Beatles - John Lennon - Imagine
via FoxyTunes

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2007 when...

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2007 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years..

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your
coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
: )

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list

AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING at yourself.

Go on, forward this to your friends. You know you want to!



----


Guys, I just want yo'all to know, I did most of it. This is so true. Love it :]

I Owe My Mother

I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION .
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC .
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT .
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY .
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA .
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER .
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY .
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times......don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION .
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY .
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE .
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP .
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOUR .
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you' ll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS .
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS .
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM .
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE .
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

LOL - I'm LOLing - some random funny things of mine

I recently got stung by an unidentified flying something on my knee and it
really hurted, and now i have got bitten twice on my arm . .. loverly, I'm sure
you'll agree!

beeping slags

Bag rash!!

oh fiddle

oh fiddle sticks

are you all right?
no i am 50% left

male and female parental units

textual messages

"the folks" gosh, the youth of today
what an expression

oh fiddle i am bored :]

Being Perfect may be ok for barbie, but just remember.. she ended up with a guy who has plastic balls =]

hahahaha

"You can't just go around killing people just becauase you don't agree with them"

I think my finger and your eye just had an intimate moment


tell your boxers its rude to point hahaha

Stupidest thing you have ever done: I once differentiated x to the minus five as minus one over x to four! What a klutz I am!

"every one is farting, poor glyn nealry blew him self up" oh LOL
"three cretins have checked into our hotel"

You scullion! You rampallian! You fustilarian! I'll tickle your catastrophe!

When the rabbit of chaos is pursued by the ferret of disorder through the fields of anarchy, it is time to hang your pants on the hook of darkness. Whether they're clean or not.

[Thine] face is not worth sunburning.

Get thee to a nunnery

[Thou hath] not so much brain as ear wax.

A mistress is what goes between a mister and a mattress


"When I'm listening to classical music, I feel like a serial killer. That's a bit worrying isn't it?"

If electricty comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

After God had created Adam he noticed that he looked very lonely. He decided to help.
He said "Adam, I've decided to make you a woman. She'll love you, cook for you, be sweet to you, and understand you."
Adam said "Great! How much will she cost me?"
The answer came back, "An arm and a leg."
"Well," said Adam "what can I get for a rib?"

A penguin goes into a pub and says, "Has my brother been in?" And the barman says, "Dunno - what's he look like?"

A bloke goes into a pub with his pet newt, and says, "I'll have a pint of lager - and a saucer of milk for Tiny, please."
"Why's he called Tiny?" asks the barman. "Because he's my newt," says the man.

A horse walks in to a bar. The barman asks: "Why the long face?"


okies thats enough for now :]]

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AS Results, and the feelings prior to, and after Exam results

Officially:

IT: A
RE: B
English: C
Psychology: C

[Critical Thinking: D]

However, I was one point overall off a ‘B’ in English, so this counts my ‘C’ counts as a ‘B’ in my mind.

Hence:

IT: A
RE: B
English: B
Psychology: C

I couldn’t really care less about Critical Thinking, hence it has been removed from here. I didn’t want to take it, I didn’t choose to take it, but I suppose I did enjoy the lessons somewhat, hence I went to most of the lessons.

Now, the low-down:

IT: I knew I was going to do well in IT, as I got two A’s in the other two modules. I found the exam easy – we had covered most of it for GCSE, or else it was stuff that I had learnt, so was good. I knew I would get the good grade, so this was no surprise.

Verdict for next year: Probably going to be dropped. Reasons below.

RE: Right, well, this was comprised of two modules, coursework and exam (50%/50%), and the coursework was good – 42/50. I thought the exam was good too, did lots of essay practice, memorised answer essays, and the questions were what I had prepared and memorised, so thought I had done very well. However, obviously I can’t have done as well as I thought, as I only got an ‘B’, not an ‘A’. Well, never mind, I am happy with this. I must remind my self that a ‘B’ is still the second highest grade to get, as opposed to GCSE where one can get an A* as the highest grade. This is where I get confused and think the system is silly: I still sometimes think that I can get an A* at A level level, even though I can’t, so think I could have done better, when I couldn’t have. But never mind. The truth is, I love(d) doing this subject, as I really enjoyed everything in it.

Verdict for next year: Doing next year.

English: I was quite disappointed with this result, for several reasons. Firstly, I thought I had done brilliantly in the exam, as did most other people, I loved the exam paper questions, and thought that I had answered the questions brilliantly. I put in hundreds of quotes, answered the question correctly and wrote about what I had to. I had expected at least a ‘B’, but it seems I only got a C. (First reason for disappointment).
As stated above, however, when I got home and worked everything out, I found I was one mark of a ‘B’ overall, I was even more gutted.

Verdict for next year: I want to keep this and do it next year.

Psychology: Straight ‘C’s in modules, = a ‘C’ overall. Not impressed with this, I could have done better, and indeed thought I had. But, there are several reasons which may explain, excuse whatever my poor results. Firstly, the first module I took was a ‘C’, but this was a lucky result because I completely messed up the exam paper – this was the paper that had the new content on that I hadn’t covered next year,


//unfinished, more to come - I am typing it as I speak. Just posted this so I didn't loose/had a back up of what I have written already.
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Now playing: Gorillaz - Dare
via FoxyTunes

New Things - Site Update

Hello. You may be interested to know that I have added some new doodahs down the right hand side of my blog - mainly Google Adsense things. This basically means if you click on the buttons, and then sign up for the service (I.e. Adwords, Adsense), then I get paid money. :) If you download, install and run the service (I.e. Firefox with Google tool bar, which you should all have), then I also get paid money. :) There are also some other bits and pieces that are new on the right over there >>>, such as Blog Top Sites Links, and other useful little things.
I now also have lists of things - these are: Book I have recently read, Films I have recently watched, and entertainment I have recently bought (such as DVDs, CDs e.t.c). I will (try) to update these regularly, or least when they need updating.
I have also added lots of little things from Feed burner, who wonderfully produce my site feed and lots of extras. This means that you can know subscribe to my site feed, and see lots of wonderful things which you can only see if you subscribe to the feed and read it - such as my delicious posts and the photos I have uploaded to Flickr. Lucky Lot!!!

Also, because I am posting this from Firefox, a program you should all have and use - use the links to the right LOL - the track I am playing in Windows Media Player is automatically inserted into this blog!! How cool is that!! All due to a wonderful little add on for Firefox called Foxy Tunes!! Look, i shall insert another track. See!! Below he first signature - Vangelis - it now says Mary Poppins LOL! OK, so this is a fairly random track, but WMP is playing my random playlist LOL!!

So, lots of lovely new features for you all to enjoy!!
Toodles


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Now playing: Vangelis - Main Theme {From Chariots of Fire}
http://foxytunes.com/artist/vangelis/track/main+theme+%7bfrom+chariots+of+fire%7d


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Now playing: Mary Poppins - Mary Poppins/The Perfect Nanny
http://foxytunes.com/artist/mary+poppins/track/mary+poppins+the+perfect+nanny

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Now playing: Gabrielle - Rise
via FoxyTunes

A new pet

adopt your own virtual pet!

How to Use Candles - Safely | A Nearly Complete Guide

According to the Merseyside fire and rescue service website, (which I found after a quick Google search), "the increased use of candles and associated products in recent years has been reflected by the increase in the number of house fires and accidents started by these products." This makes sense - more candles being used, more fires are being caused by them.

The website also says: "Candles are no longer used just as functional products or for the odd dinner party. They have become part of everyday life, used for relaxing and enhancing the look and atmosphere of a room." Anyone reading this will most probably definitely have at least one candle in their house - they are very useful and have many purposes. They can be used in power cuts when the electricity is off as a source of light (and heat), as an alternative source of light and heat, and as an item of decoration to lighten the mood, create the mood, or enhance the atmosphere of a room. In short, they are used extensively, all over the place. "It is almost impossible to pick up a glossy magazine without the photographs of room makeovers including candles as decoration." Many people use candles to relax, along with music and a luxurious bath in the bathroom, candles adorn birthday cakes, they are used extensively in religious communities, circles, ceremonies and places of worship, as well as using them to keep time in some cases.

The problem is that many people do not pay enough attention to the dangers and devastation the candle can create, even though we use them extensively. Yes, this probably sounds very serious, sinister and perhaps sad, but if everyone took a little more care when using candles, and used a bit of common sense, then I am sure that less fires would start as a result of a candle [being left unattended, falling over, setting fire to something else e.t.c].

The Merseyside Fire and Rescue Service website (see link above) lists the main reasons for fires started by candles as:

Increasing use of candles along with lack of common sense and the correct following of safety guidelines;
Candles left unattended;
People falling asleep without extinguishing candles;
Candles not being used with appropriate holders, or on inappropriate surfaces;
Candles being positioned too close to flammable materials (such as furnishing and clothing.

Hence, there are several hazards that surround candles:

The candle can be a major cause of dangerous fires, affecting everything from clothes, possessions, and objects round the home, as well as the home itself, and other buildings where candles are used.
The liquid wax is hot and can cause skin burns, but the amount and temperature are generally rather limited and the burns are seldom serious.
Glass candle holders are sometimes cracked by thermal shock from the candle flame, particularly when the candle burns down to the end.

So, what can you do to avoid serious fires, burns and other hazards when using candles? Well, the following is a list of safety advice, warnings and tips that should help you avoid these hazards and stay safe when using and around candles.

1. Use common sense.

NEVER leave a candle unattended, even for a short amount of time. Although you have probably heard this millions of times, it really does make a difference.

Place candles in or on a heat resistant surface, such as a china plate, or even better, buy or place candles in glass/plastic jars - not only do they protect the candle flame from other surfaces, objects and materials, the transparent glass/plastic allows your room to be flooded with light, you can see the candle easily, and should the glass/plastic jar fall over, the flame is contained.

Place candles away from other objects and possessions, especially flammable items. This will make sure that items cannot catch fire!! (Very very obvious).

Make sure that candles are not placed near edges of tables, shelves e.t.c as they could easily fall off or be knocked off.

Keep burning candles, unlighted candles and matches out of the reach of small children, pets and unsafe situations.

Follow the safety instructions that should be provided with the candles.

If a candle has been burning for a long time, the surface it is on, or touching, as well as the candle itself, and the wax that it is burning, will be(come) very HOT. Make sure you do not touch the candle or the wax when putting out the candle - use a snuffer (see below).

Use caution when moving near to a candle, being especially aware of clothes, long sleeves that hang down and hair, as these can easily dangle into the candle flame and catch fire.

2. Take precautions.

If you have small candles around the home, such as tea lights or small pillar candles,
make sure that you have a jug of water placed in an easy to reach location, in case of emergencies.
If you have larger or many [smaller or larger] candles, you may want to fill a bucket with water. (Obviously, try not to knock it over, so keep it away from small children pets, e.t.c).

Educate (young) children, and (other family members!!) about the dangers of candles, the dangers of leaving a candle unattended, the dangers of matches, and how to take sufficient safety precautions. Then, lead by example.

Use a snuffer to put out the candle instead of blowing on the flame. A snuffer is usually a small metal cup on the end of a long handle. When placed over the flame the oxygen supply is cut off, hence the flame is put out. Snuffers are available at most candle supply sources.

3. Maintain your candle!! (Ooo, you dirty minded lot!)
100 candles offers some tips on candle maintenance:

Do not light misshapen or damaged candles as they will not burn properly and might present a safety hazard.

Discontinue candle use when 1/2 inch of wax remains.

Burn candle for at least one hour for every inch of its diameter the first time you light it. This will allow the pool of wax to extend to the outside rim and prevent your candle from forming a “canyon” in its centre. (For example, burn a 3-inch diameter candle at least 3 hours. This method is called setting the “Memory” of your candle. Each time you re-light your candle, it will “remember” to burn out to the rim.)

Trim the wick(s) to 1/4 inch before lighting. A trimmed wick will ensure a clean, smoke-free burn. It will also stop carbon build-up at the tip of the wick and will extend the life of your candle.

Do not let wick trimmings, matches or any foreign matter collect inside the wax pool. This might prevent a clean burn or the flammable material might present a fire hazard.

And, also some other general tips on candles and candle safety:

Remember to remove the labels on your candles before you light them.

Never allow candle flame to touch any glass surface. This includes the tops or sides of Jar candles or Vases’, as they will get HOT. (Note: Sides, bottom and tops of containers may become hot while candle is burning. Handle with care. Extinguish candle in container before replacing lid.)

Special Notes:.

Even “Non-Drip” candles may drip under certain circumstances. Ie. Being placed in a drafty area. If candle appears ready to drip, extinguish candle and allow to cool for approximately one half hour before re-lighting. If candle drips, try moving to another location or check air movement that may be causing the draft.

Candles need oxygen. If you burn a candle in a small, confined area it will smoke. So consider the size of your room when you arrange your candles.

Extinguishing Tips:

1. Use a snuffer. The most effective way to extinguish the flame of a candle is to use a candle snuffer. The snuffer helps prevent the wax from spraying and keeps the wick centered as well.
2. If you don’t have a snuffer, here’s an effective way to extinguish a candle: Position your forefinger between the candle and your mouth, aligning it with the flame. When you blow at the candle, the “air” will circle around your finger and hit the flame from both sides, rather than approaching it directly. It’s a clever trick, try it!

Storing Tips For Your Candles:

1. Store your candles away from direct sun light as they can fade.
2. Store in a dry, cool and dark place.
3. Tapers and other candlesticks should be stored flat to prevent warping.

Cleaning Tips For Your Candles:

1. Put used votive cups, vases or other containers in the freezer for about 20 minutes. Left over wax will fall out very easily.
2. You can keep your candles smooth and silky-looking by gently rubbing them with ordinary nylon stockings. This will remove scratches and will also rub off the “bloom” that forms on a beeswax candle.
3. Before you slip a votive candle into a votive cup or holder, drop a teaspoon of water into the cup. This way when you want to remove the votive candle to replace it with another, the candle should slide out easily. Plus, you won’t have to struggle or run the risk of damaging the holder.

The 10 variables that affect the degree to which we can smell candles when they are burning:

1. The specific fragrance. Some scents are stronger by nature than others.
2. The size of the room. A smaller room will contain the fragrant vapour in higher concentration, creating a stronger impression.
3. Air flow and quality. Since fragrant vapour is carried in the air, factors such as humidity, air conditioning, a fan, an open window, e.t.c. may affect it’s movement.
4. The size of the wax pool. The greater the surface area of liquid wax, the more fragrance may release into the air.
5. The size of the flame. A large flame will burn more of the fragrant vapour before it can escape into the air. (Keep the wick trimmed to 1/4 inch).
6. The temperature at which a fragrance vaporizes. Some vaporize more readily, permeating the air to a greater extent.
7. Other sources of fragrance. Our fragrance perceptions are easily confused by multiple scents.
8. Other burning candles. Their flames may burn off the fragrant vapours.
9. Length of exposure. Our noses desensitize to fragrances over time. Leaving and re-entering the room will help you smell again.
10. The person smelling the fragrance. The sense of smell varies from person to person, much like eyesight, hearing or taste.

[[Other Helpful Tips:

By placing your candle in the freezer for at least 1 hour before you burn will help the candle burn longer and release more of the fragrance into the room.

To sample a scented candle, breathe the fragrance in from the bottom of the candle rather than the top or side. Undisturbed by circulating air, the aroma will be intensely concentrated there, more so than on any other part of the candle.]]

Bored

Well, I am currently very bored so I am going to post a blog post here. I am currently very bored because I am not playing age of mythology at the moment, because i am waiting for all sorts of security scans to finish scanning, and for my music to download. So. It seems that rather a lot has been happening in my life, but I haven't posted about any of it.
Well, I am now working at Waitrose and I have now given up my paper round. Woo!! That wasn't sarcasm- I do actually love working at waitrose, and I am not missing walking up the hills any more!! And now that it is the summer holidays, I can do lots of overtime and get paid lots of money, which is all tax free which is great!! I got a few tips from my loyal fan base of customers on the round, bless them. Gavin, the new paper delivery person started a couple of days ago, much later than I had hoped as his mum was taken ill so I covered for him. Mr chavda (my boss) hadn't got in contact with him until the last minute when I phoned him to remind him, so it is all a bit of a mess really, but it is not my problem any more. On the other foot, I do love waitrose soo much. I have only been working there for a couple of days (shifts), but i do love it now tha I have settled in and I am starting to remember peoples names now which is great LOL!!

My Pocket Emo which doesn't seem to work

LOL

Quotes:
One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

Jokes:
The following questions from lawyers were taken from official court records nationwide..
1. Was that the same nose you broke as a child?
2. Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?
3. Q: What happened then? A: He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me." Q: Did he kill you?
4. Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?
5. The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
6. Were you alone or by yourself?
7. How long have you been a French Canadian?
8. Do you have any children or anything of that kind?
9. Q: I show you exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture. A: That's me. Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?
10. Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?
11. Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
12. Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now? A: I'll be three months on November 8. Q: Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8? A: Yes. Q: What were you doing at that time?
13. Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable? A: I used to be.Q: How many times have you committed suicide?
14. So you were gone until you returned?
15. Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A: None. Q: Were there girls?
16. You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it? 17. Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement? A: Yes. Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
18. Q: Have you lived in this town all your life? A: Not yet.
19. A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of unleashing a stupid question, interrupted himself and said, "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next question."
20. Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Edington at the Rose Chapel? A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30 p.m. Q: And Mr. Edington was dead at the time, is that correct? A: No, you stupid, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy!

More Quotes:
Adam: "You are what you eat."
Eve: "At least he doesn't compare me to his mother."
Abraham: "I'm goin' not knowin'."
Noah: "Honk if you believe in treading water."
Moses: "From a basket case to the promise land."
Elizah: "When Jezebel ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."
Balaam: "My second donkey talks!"
Prodigal Son: "All roads lead to home."
At the Sinai desert: "Winding road next 40 years"
At the Red Sea: "Caution! Subject to sudden flooding"

More Jokes:
A rich American tourist was holidaying in Rome, and was intent on seeing the Pope. There he stood, in a big long line with a rather expensive suit on, hoping the Pope would notice how smart he was and perhaps talk a few words with him.
As the Pope made his way slowly down the line, he walked right past the American, hardly even noticing him.
The Pope then stopped next to a low-life beggar, leaned over and whispered something in the beggar's ear, and made his way on again.
This really angered the American. After speaking with a drunkard, the American agreed to pay $1000 dollars to exchange clothing, in the hope that the Pope would speak to him the next day.
The next morning the American stood in the line, waiting to see the Pope and hopefully exchange a few words. The Pope was making his way slowly up to the American. When he finally reached him, he leaned over to the American and spoke softly into his ear..
"I thought I told you yesterday to get the f**k out of here."

17 days till my birthday!!!!!

17 days till my 17th!!!!
17 days till I can drive!!!!
17 days till I can say I am 17!!!!



:)

My Thoughts On Big Brother

Now I have just watched the "incident", I just wanted to post my thoughts about this. If you do not know the full story, or even the incident I am referring too, you can find it here, or here. The full transcript is here. Basically, Emily has been evicted from the Big Brother house becuase she said the 'racially offensive' word: n*gger. (I have stared this becuase some people may find this word offensive).
Firstly, let me tell you where I stand. A lot of people would probbaly tell you that I like Big Brother, and they would be right. I usually watch the live laucnch show, vote a couple of times for people I want to win (not usually vote to evict someone), and watch the end show where the winner is annouced. (Last year I voted for Pete a lot). I am not a big fan of the Celebrity Big Brother, mainly becuase I usually don't know the celebrities, and so I don't watch it. This means that I have not watched the first racist incident, concerning Shilpa Shetty, but I have heard about and do know the story, via website news pages. However, when I heard yesterday from digital spy (I have subscribed to all of their feeds, so get news very fast - they are always good at getting the news beofre anyone else), that emily had been evicted I immediatly abondoned my revison (LOL) and found the story. At the time I had not formed an opinion on the inicident, until when I begam discussing the incident with my friend Celestianpower. (Code name not real name, to hide his idenity in case he doesn't want to be on teh internet, which I suspect). However, waking up this morning to breakfats tv - GMTV and the BBC's Breakfast, - as well as watching the repeat of last nights' Big Brother and Big brother's little brother before it, I now want to post about where I stand.

The incident happened when Charley, Emily and Nicky were in the garden at the smoking place, and the three of them were discussing dancing. (Digital spy's transcript reports it as "Emily: (referring to Charley dancing/pushing her hips forward)). Emily then said: "You pushing it out you n*gger". (I have again stared this out, but the BBC have not on their website, so perhaps the word in writing is not as offensive as saying it - I shall disucss this later.) After this comment, Charley (at whom the comment was directed), and Nicky reacted with shock, and nervous laughter. Charley then said: "No way. (Pause) Yeah, me. I'm a nigger". Emily apologised for her comment, saying it was "careless", and had/has said many times that she did not mean the comment to be offensive -"it was a joke" e.t.c.
Later, at about half three i nthe mornign I believe, Big Brother called Emily to the diary room, explained about the comment and the implciations, and proceded to remove her from the house.

Now, there are several issues arrising here. Obviosuly there will be a discussion about whether it was right to remove Emily from the house, especially after she said she didn't mean it as an insult. But there are also other points to raise. As the BBC so rightly writes: "Ms Jain said that the decision had been taken [to remove Emily] in the wake of the alleged racist bullying of Bollywood star Shilpa Shetty on Celebrity Big Brother earlier this year". Channel 4 have already been in hot water about a racism row. they have to tread carefully. Of course, they had the option not to broadcast the incident, but it seems they have not. This raises many issues:

1. Should Channel 4 have broadcast the incident at all?
2. Should the word have been filtered out, but still broadcast?
3. Should Emily have been evicted, or just have had a severe punishment (but still remain in the house)?
4. Should Channel 4 have learnt their lesson from last time?
5. Will Channel 4 get into more trouble, i.e. another review and an on screen apology
6. Would the incident have been treated so directly if the Shilpa Shetty incident hadn't occured?
7. Would the incident have been treated so directly if the Shilpa Shetty incident had been treated differently?
8. (And most importnalty in my eyes) Should it just have been Emily who was evicted (more on this in a minute).

The problem is that Big Brother is the kind of show that is going to attract media attention no matter what happens on it, who says what and what kind of controversy it creates. News websites have entire sections and webpages, live feeds, breaking stories, front page pictures, live updates, and all manner of ways of recieveing the gossip from the Big brother house. If nothing happens in the house, the media have to create some way of getting people to buy the paper i.e. by finding/making a story that people will want to read. If an incident occurs that may spark headlines and national discussion, then the media are going to want to report it. They will probably blow it up to make the story bigger and more exciting, which will attract more readers/viewers, and so make more money for the company. After all, the media, in my opinion
'exists to sell itself', not to "just report the news, as it happens." The media makes the news, not finds it. Now, this ramble does have some point to my thoughts on BB, even if I am digressing slighlty, as it puts into context the modern media.

I am now going to give my opinion on the numbered points rasies above.

//soon.

Jokes to entertain Amber in the libary

//will correct typos soon!

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and visa-versa." Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep.The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $50!" figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match. This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five-dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer.Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer: "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?"The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into theAirphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his coworkers and friends he knows. All to no avail. After over an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $50. The blonde politely takes the $50 and turns away to get back to sleep.The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what is the answer!?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.

They say when you play that Microsoft CD backward you can hear satanic messages ... but that's nothing. If you play it forwards it will install Windows.

The day Microsoft makes something that doesn't suck is probably the day they start making vacuum cleaners.

A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty four".Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return.This time the husband crosses his fingers and says "Mirror mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!".Again, there's a bright flash ... and then his legs fall off!

Why is urine yellow and sperm white?So men can tell if they are coming or going.

Windows 95: The first program, having its best-before-date include in its name.
If Windows 95 is the answer, how stupid must have been the question?
Microsoft is not the answer - Microsoft is the question. The answer is no!

Your mama is so fat she wears a watch on each arn. One for each time zone.

What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?Pregnant.

The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his cheek. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in at six o'clock in the morning?""There is." he replied, "Breakfast."

Why did Microsoft give the name "Windows" to its operating software?If you had so many bugs, you would throw it out the window too!

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated:"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating (by Mr. Welch himself):"If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics
:1) For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
2) Every time they painted new lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
3) Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
4) Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5) Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But then you would have to buy more seats.
6) Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
7) The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.
8) New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9) The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.
10) Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.
11) GM would also require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.
12) Every time GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
13) You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.

Why do they call it PMS?Because Mad Cow Disease was taken.

Why did the blonde die in a helicopter crash?She got cold and turned off the fan.

No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:
1. They replicate quickly. ... Okay, Windows does that.
2. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so. ... Okay, Windows does that.
3. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk. ... Okay, Windows does that too.
4. Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. ... Sigh.. Windows does that, too.
5. Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. ... Yup, Windows does that, too.Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.So Windows is not a virus. ... It's a bug.

This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog!Now read without the word dog.

Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?Because it said 'concentrate'.

A pilot is flying a small, single-engine, charter plane with a couple of really important executives on board into Seattle airport. There is fog so thick that visibility is 40 feet, and his instruments are out. He circles looking for a landmark and after an hour, he is low on fuel and his passengers are very nervous. At last, through a small opening in the fog he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor. Circling, the pilot banks and shouts through his open window: "Hey, where am I?". The solitary office worker replies: "You're in an airplane". The pilot immediately executes a swift 275 degree turn and executes a perfect blind landing on the airport's runway fivemiles away. Just as the plane stops, the engines cough and die from lack of fuel. The stunned passengers ask the pilot how he did it. "Elementary," replies the pilot, "I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100% correct but absolutely useless; therefore, I knew that must be Microsoft's support office and from there the airport isthree minutes away on a course of 87 degrees."

Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

What do you call an intelligent man in America?A tourist.

Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette and continued smoking.
Lady 1: What's that?
Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Lady 1: Where did you get it?
Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.
The next day ...
Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but politely asks what brand she prefers.
Lady 1: It doesn't matter as long as it fits a Camel.

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette went into a farm to steal chickens. The police were nearby and they heard them and came in. The girls quickly jumped into three potato sacks so they wouldn't be seen.One policeman kicked the sack with the redhead, and she said "meow" pretending to be a cat.He kicked the second one with the brunette, and she said "ruff", pretending to be a dog.When he kicked the third sack with the blonde, she said "potatoes".

Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest Stamps?They had pictures of lawyers on them and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

Why don't men cook at home?There isn't a steak that can fit in a toaster.

A woman was paying for some items in a supermarket - a pint of milk, a packet of bacon, a small bag of rice and a few vegetables. The man at the checkout said, "I bet you're single, aren't you?""Well yes, I am," the woman replied. "How did you know?""Because you're really ugly," replied the man.

Son: "Daddy, I have to write a special report for school, but I don't know what Politics is."Father: "Well, let's take our home as an example. I am the bread-winner, so let's call me Capitalism. Your Mum is the administrator of money, so we'll call her Government. We take care of your need, so let's call you The People. We'll call the maid the Working Class and your brother we can call The Future. Do you understand son?"Son: "I'm not really sure, Dad. I'll have to think about it."That night awakened by his brother's crying, the boy went to see what was wrong. Discovering that the baby had seriously soiled his diaper, the boy went to his parents' room and found his mother sound asleep. He went to the maid's room, where, peeking through the keyhole, he saw his father in bed with the maid. The boy's knocking went totally unheeded by his father and the maid, so the boy returned to his room and went back to sleep.The next morning he reported to his father.Son: "Dad, now I think I understand what Politics is."Father: "Good son! Can you explain it to me in your own words?"Son: "Well Dad, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, Government is sound asleep, the People are being completely ignored and the Future is full of Sh1t."

The reason God made the world round is becuase if it was flat all the fat people would fall through!

whay cant a blonde work in a banana facotry?she keeps throwing out the bent ones!

blonde, brunette and redhead walking down a road, all in seventh grade. who has the best figure?blonde, she is 25!
blonde hanging off a cliff, how do you get her to let go?wave with both hands!
why cant a blonde waterski?once she gets wet between the legs, she cant keep them closed
what did the blodes left leg say to the right leg?nothing, thy havent met!
you so ugly that when michale jackson saw you he said'right thats it im screwing kids'.
is it better to be born black or gay?black cos you wont have to tell your parents
how do you stop an iraqui tank?shoot the guy pushing it!
why are blacks afraid of chainsaws?tehy go run nigga nigga nigga nigga run nigga nigga nigga

A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road and got out to see what had become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit was dead. The driver felt so awful he began to cry. A woman driving down the highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong. "I feel terrible," he explained. "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it." The woman told the man not to worry. She knew what to do. She went to her car and came back with a can of spray. She walked over to the limp rabbit and sprayed the contents of the can onto the rabbit. Miraculously, the rabbit came to life, jumped up, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped down the road. 50 feet away the rabbit stopped, turned around, waved at the two again, hopped down the road another 50 feet, turned, waved, and hopped another 50 feet. The man was astonished. He couldn't figure out what substance could be in the woman's spray can! He ran over to the woman and demanded, "What was in your spray can? What did you spray onto that rabbit?"The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said: " 'Hare Spray' Restores Life to Dead Hare. Adds Permanent Wave."

A plane was about to crash and there were 5 people on board and only 4 parachutes. The first person said. "I am Roy Keane, one of the best footballers in Ireland. I am worth a lot of money and my fans need me so think I should be saved." The others agreed and gave him one of the parachutes and off he went. The second person said "I am Gerry Adams, a radical Irish politician who can really help my country and I think I should be saved." The others said "OK" and gave him a parachute. The third person said "I am David Beckham, captain of the English National squad. I have a wife and two children. Everyone knows I am a really nice guy and everyone thinks I am stupid, but I'm not, so I am taking a parachute" and off he went. There were two people left, the Pope and a 10 year old choolgirl. The Pope said, "Child, I am old and frail and have lived my life while you are young with everything before you. You take the parachute and I will stay with the aircraft and take my chances." "It's OK" said the girl, "there are still two parachutes left. David Beckham picked up my satchel."

Stupid Questions
>> Q. What is the definition of tight? >> A. Put a blind man in a circlular room and telling him his dinner is in the corner.
>> Q. What is the definition of annoyance? >> A. A one-armed man hanging off a cliff with an itchy behind.
>> Q. What is the definition of harsh? >> A. Walking up to an orphan, singing "We are family" or Walking up to a poor farmer, singing "I've got a brand new combine harvester".
>> Q. What is the definition of cruelty? >> A. Put a gun to a disabled man and telling him to leg it. >>
Q. What is the definition of unkind? >> A. Singing "Ah Ah Ah Staying Alive" in a cemetary.

Stupid Signs (These are actual signs seen in England)
Sign in a Laundromat:AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.
In an office:WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN.
In an office:TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.
In an office:AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.
Outside a second-hand shop :WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Sign outside a new town hall which was to be opened by the Prince of Wales:THE TOWN HALL IS CLOSED UNTIL OPENING. IT WILL REMAIN CLOSED AFTER BEING OPENED. OPEN TOMORROW.
Outside a photographer's studio:OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE, OUT FOR DINNER ALSO.
Outside a disco:SMARTS IS THE MOST EXCLUSIVE DISCO IN TOWN. EVERYONE WELCOME.
Sign warning of quicksand:QUICKSAND. ANY PERSON PASSING THIS POINT WILL BE DROWNED. BY ORDER OF THE DISTRICT COUNCIL.
Notice sent to residents of a Wiltshire parish:DUE TO INCREASING PROBLEMS WITH LITTER LOUTS AND VANDALS WE MUST ASK ANYONE WITH RELATIVES BURIED IN THE GRAVEYARD TO DO THEIR BEST TO KEEP THEM IN ORDER.
Notice in a dry cleaner's window:ANYONE LEAVING THEIR GARMENTS HERE FOR MORE THAN 30 DAYS WILL BE DISPOSED OF.
Notice in health food shop window:CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS.
Spotted in a safari park:ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR.
Seen during a conference:FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR.
Notice in a field:THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
Message on a leaflet:IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS.
Sign on a repair shop door:WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR, THE BELL DOESN'T WORK).

Thought streams for today (OK. . .!!!!)

Right, several thoughts I just want to blog about. I shall make a list of them here so I don't forget about them: maddy/haircut/liverpool fc match oooh and neighbours lol that's it. Also exams!!

Firstly, can I just apologise for not finishing the Mr bean 2 film review. I shall try later, or maybe even tonight, if I can remember what I was saying lol, but I probably can't so i probably won't finish it!

Right one thing that has been bugging me is about Maddy McCann. Yes, I feel sorry for the little girl, and hope that she will be returned to her parents safely, and I can understand the feelings that the parents are going through. Well, I probably can't but that is not the issue. The issue for me is the amount of press coverage this story is getting. It has been on the 6 o'clock news a lot, sometimes getting the opening and therefore main, most important news story, as well as in newspapers, their websites, the BBC's website. There have also been websites set up to hep find her, as well as skins on bebo and I expect myspace to "help jog someone's memory", as well as coverage on every other news website, AND videos on youtube, posters and leaflets. OK, so I understand that the family want to get the family back, but this is "verging on the edge of a cliff called ridiculous" to quote my old English essay. Whilst I was in the hairdressers today, getting my hair cut short for summer, I heard on the radio that the family spent the day in a catholic something other (here's the full story), and ACCEPTED HUGS AND PRAYERS FROM PILGRIMS. This is over the top. Ridiculous. OK, so the family want their child back, but there are two things that really annoy me.
Firstly, what about all the other children that go missing or are kidnapped? They aren't getting top news coverage, and I certainly don't know all about them? Why does this one child story have to make all the headlines? Is there really no other news? I am sure that the media could spend more time focusing on other news, something that might be considered more important, such as, for example, the change of prime ministers that is going to happen. //Edit: As Chloe, kindly pointed out, how about news about Alan Johson, the kidnapped news correspondent?? We haven't heard anything about him for ages. And he works for the BBC!!!// That got hardly any news coverage, because the media are going potty over one missing girl. Maybe that is a bit harsh, but it is one thing that has been annoying me.
Secondly, as far as I know (and I missed the news when this story was first broadcast so i might have something wrong, sorry), Maddy was abducted when/because the parents were out, and checking on her every half an hour, which seems ridiculous. OK, so you trust and think that nothing will happen to your children whilst you are out eating a nice meal, but I bet they feel gutted now? And this is another reason why I am against all the all mighty news coverage.

Right, now referring back to my list . .. covered Maddy and my haircut!!! (If you need more detail, it's short. Or shorter.) Now the story about the people who cant get to Athens to see the champions league football final. This was on the news tonight. Apparently, some people haven't been able to get to Athens to watch the match because their flight was cancelled at the last minute, due to a technical hitch (LOL!). //Hitch is a very good film//. There were pictures of the fans crying and being really emotional and upset, just because they couldn't go and see their favourite team and support them in the final, or else because they had paid a large amount of money for the tickets which would now be wasted. There is a picture here. OK, so this is unfortunate, and I probably would be upset and slightly annoyed in this situation (not that I would be in this situation LOL) but only because of the money not because I couldn't see Liverpool. I mean, its not like you cant watch the match, just get along to a pub and watch it on the big screen with the rest of us!!! And as for being so emotional that you cant see a footie team play, well . . . //see my post on football, and why I don't support the clubs . . . (it is in my archives somewhere . . . see right, I can't be bothered to find you a link, seen as the hyper link button seems to have disappeared from the post editor lol >>> ) No further comment. (Oooo, the games starting I think . . .!!!)

Now for neighbours . .. this shall have to wait. basically, I love it!!!

True 90's Kid

Anybody under the age of 14 should not re-post this!

You know you're a British 90s kid if...

You can sing the rap to "the fresh prince of bell air".

You remember when it was actually worth getting up on a Saturday morning to watch live & kicking or sm:tv.

You had a huge fringe at some point in your childhood or a bowl.

You remember reading and watching "Goosebumps".

You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.

You know the words from the shakey jake milkshake adverts.

You remember the craze of yo-yos and tamagotchi's.

You still get the urge to say "not" after every sentence. Not.

You collected pokemon cards.

You played and/or collected pogs.

You had a weird alien that lived in gooey stuff in a plastic 'pod' and thought if you stuck 2 back to back they would have a baby or they would open they're eyes on the millenium!

You watched the original postman pat, fireman Sam and ninja turtles.

You got your mum to buy 'bn' biscuits.

You know the macerena by heart.

"Talk to the hand" enough said.

You thought brain from "pinkey and the brain" would finally take over the world.

Furby's!!! Gangsta but they wouldn’t shut up.

You remember bum bags or fanny packs.

You always wanted to be on fun house.

You collected tazos.

2 words; spice girls.

You wore Disney plastic rucksacks.

Name Thingy

1.YOUR NAME:
Luke Warner

2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first three letters of your name, plus izzle)
Lukeizzle

3. YOUR "Flyguy" NAME: (first initial of first name, first three of your last)
Lner

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal)
Blue Panda

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, town where you were born):
William George Stroud (hahaha)

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, first 3 letters of mom's maiden name)
Warlujul

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (favorite color, favorite alcoholic or soft drink)
Bluecoke (hehe)

8. STRIPPER NAME: (the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/body spray...)
Click (ha!)

9.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother's/father's middle name)
Annewilliamalton (??)

Funny Stuff 1 - Funny Exam Responses

Children's Funny Exam Responses
Q: Name the four seasons.A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: What are steroids?A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.A: Premature death.
Q: What is the fibula?A: A small lie
Q: What does "varicose" mean?A: Nearby.
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.